Why Didn't You Tell Me?
by TheLittlestRaindrop
Summary: After years of longing for the enigmatic leader of the Survey Corps, you've all but given up hope. That is, until Hange spills the beans on a certain someone's feelings...
1. Discovery

**A/N. A re-working of my very first fanfic, published on this site for the very first time. Hope you all enjoy :)**

The sun shines brightly at Survey Corps HQ. The newest recruits are busy sparring in the courtyard with Mike, sweating profusely under the midday sun Oh, what you wouldn't give to join them. You've just spent your morning mucking out the horses, much to your dismay. Alas, it needed doing, and you've never minded getting your hands dirty. That, and it gave you a decent excuse to use the bathroom before what is sure to be an interesting afternoon.

You smile to yourself in the mirror. You've been a member of the survey corps for six years, and in that time so much has changed. New recruits, new challenges, and (most importantly) a devastatingly handsome new commander.

Ah yes, Commander Erwin Smith. Eyebrow fanatic and tactical genius. And of course, the subject of your infatuation for quite some time now. You just can't help the way your heart flutters every time he looks you directly in the eyes, or the heat that consumes your body whenever he's near you. It's enough to make you quietly slip a hand between your legs most nights in your bed at the barracks, your mind creating the most delicious images of his blonde hair between your legs…

A rather loud THUD against the bathroom door brings you straight back into reality. Now really isn't the time to be thinking of such things, especially given who you're assisting this afternoon...

'Heyyyyyyy, come on outttttttt. We've got Titans to research!' Hange yells, her over-eager voice coming from just outside the bathroom door.

'Just a second, Section Commander!' you reply, sounding thoroughly startled. Honestly, with timing like that, it's almost as if the somewhat-crazy SC has been reading your mind! Perish the thought! You've yet to disclose your feelings toward Commander Smith to anyone, and having a blabbermouth like Hange find out would spell disaster.

Stepping out of the bathroom in your fresh uniform, you're greeted by the sight of Moblit trying to talk Hange out of something (as usual).

'Please, Section Commander! Reconsider! There's so much data left to consolidate from the last Titan we captured, we really don't need to try and capture another one today! Besides, we'd never get the clearance from the Commander! There's no way he'd let us…' Moblit is cut off suddenly by the sound of Hange's laughter.

'Oh Moblit, you didn't think we were going today, did you?! Ha! That's classic. No, I've spoken to Erwin about catching a Titan on our next expedition! We don't have the resources to venture outside the walls just for a single Titan! As much as I would LOVE a new friend to play with, that's simply not possible right now.' She turns to you, trying to contain her maniacal laughter.

'Now my dear, the three of us have a whole heap of raw data that needs compiling into reports. Said reports will then need to be taken to Erwin for him to peruse. After that, dinner, and a chance for us to share verbally everything we've learnt today! Doesn't that sound fun?!' She grins at you.

You nod reluctantly, your heart fluttering furiously at the mention of Commander Smith's name. Paperwork detail is one the few times you actually get to speak one-on-one with the blonde. He always asks for a brief overview of the report, and occasionally a few more personal things like 'How's life in the Survey Corps treating you?' and 'Have your heard from your family recently?'. Last week, he'd even invited you to drink tea and go over the reports with him! You'll never forget the way his eyes stared at you from over his teacup, or how a single drop of tea escaped and trickled down one side of his mouth, his tongue gliding over his full lips as he tried to catch it…

'Right then, let's get to work!' Says Hange, once again breaking you out of your daydream. By the walls, this is not good! Two lurid thoughts in the space of five minutes! You need to get a grip ASAP, or else the afternoon is going to end badly.

You follow Hange and Moblit down the hall and into a room full of random bits of paper. The paper contains everything you'd expect, including rushed notes, doodles (is that Nile Dok being eaten by titans?) and complex field sketches. You sigh. This is going to take hours! Well, at least it will take your mind off of the Commander…

You roll up your sleeves. Time to get to work.

-t/s-

Four hours later, and most of the pieces of paper have been consolidated into reports.

'Phew, that took longer than expected!' Excllames Hange dramatically, wiping a hand across her brow.

'Only because you kept reminiscing about the Titan we captured!' Replies an exasperated Moblit.

You giggle to yourself. Despite all the hard work, it's been a very pleasant afternoon's work all in all. You've even been able to keep your mind away from your more risqué thoughts. You know full well how foolish they are. Veteran or not, you're still just a soldier, and fantasising about your commanding officer is totally unacceptable. As if a man like that would ever see you in the same way, anyhow. He'd probably laugh and dismiss you immediately. You clearly look troubled, as Hange places a hand on your shoulder.

'What's bothering you, sweet heart? You seemed off when I collected you earlier, and now you seem so sad. Is there anything I can do?'

'Honestly Hange, I'm not sure there's anything anyone can do. Unless you can erase other people's feelings. That would be handy.' You lament.

Hange stands, and asks Moblit to go and see how the rest of her squad is doing, before taking a seat opposite you and placing her hand on your shoulder once more.

'Does this have anything to do with Erwin?' she asks plainly. You swallow loudly, and nod weakly. 'Oh,' she replies, suddenly looking awkward. 'Look, my dear. Just because he's the Commander, doesn't mean you have to submit to him in personal matters. I know it's hard to say no in these situations, but if you honestly don't feel attracted to him you can just tell him no.'

All the blood in your body rushes into your head all at once. Surely Hange isn't saying what you think she is? Is Hange implying that Commander Smith (Erwin, the treacherous part of your brain corrected you) has some kind of feeling towards you? Bullshit.

'Oh, shit. He hasn't told you, has he? That man, honestly! He goes on about us dedicating hearts, yet he can't even dedicate his own! He told me that he's been attracted to you since you bought him that first report. Whether it's just a physical attraction or something more, I don't know, but the point is that our dear commanding officer would very much like you fuck you into oblivion on top of his desk!' Hange beams at you, looking both excited and nervous in equal measure

You both sit in silence for a while, Hange trying to calm down and you trying to process things. All this time you've dreamed of one day being with your Commander, wanted him more than any other man, and now someone is sat telling you that you could have him, that he wanted you to have him. It's like your birthday had come early!

'I think I'll take Commander Smith these reports now. If you'll excuse me.…' you begin to leave with the reports.

'Wait!' exclaims Hange. 'I know it's a shock, but please, think on what I've said and how you feel. Erwin may have kept his feelings to himself thus far, but I doubt he'll keep quiet much longer. You need to have an answer ready for the day he finally confesses his feelings for you.'

'Thank you for your advice, Hange, but I made up my mind the second you mentioned fucking him on a desk' you say with a wink.

Hange's face lights up, her expression like that of a child in a sweet shop. Before the Section Commander can say anything further however, you bolt from the room, hurrying along HQ's many rooms until you reached your destination; Erwin's office.

Before you get a chance to knock on the door and request entry, you hear something that takes you aback. A noise, muffled by the thick wood of the door. Then another. And another. Your mind races, wondering what could cause him to make such noises, before eventually reaching conclusion; Erwin Smith, Commander of the nation's bravest soldiers, is crying.

You find yourself caught between the need to leave him be and let him ride it out in silence, and the need to be there to comfort him. Ultimately, and perhaps selfishly, the latter impulse wins out. You givethe door a tentative knock. When you don't hear a response, you quietly open the door.

Erwin's office looks much the same as it always does. Bookcases filled to the brim with both books and old reports line the walls of the room, making it look like a very small library. In the centre of the room is a large desk mahogany desk with some paperwork on one side, indicating that he'd been working before his emotions got the better of him. Just as you begin to look for him, another noise catches you attention.

Your name. On his lips.

At first, you assume he's addressing you, finally acknowledging your presence. That is, until you see him.

Sat in a corner not too far from the desk, on a rather comfortable-looking armchair, is Erwin Smith.

With his trousers and underwear down his legs.

Gripping his cock.

Crying out your names in ecstasy.

Your mouth goes dry. This is the single sexiest thing you've ever seen. All those nights alone with your thoughts don't even begin to compare with reality. The way the sweat drips from his perfect brow, the way he has his eyes screwed tight in painful concentration, the way he plays with himself with such abandon…

Then it hits you… what the fuck are you supposed to do now?! You can't exactly announce your presence, he'll be furious! (not to mention frustrated, given how close he looks to finishing). You can't exactly join in, though! That would be weird, and consensually very dubious indeed! That leaves only one option; leave the paperwork on the desk, and get the hell out of Dodge before he's lucid enough to notice you.

As quietly as you can, you crept across the far side of the room, and place the paperwork on the desk. No doubt he'll ask you later on how it got there, but you'll cross that particular Titan-infested village when you got to it!

As you creep back towards the door, Erwin grunts your name one final time, before releasing into his hand, your view of the act mercifully obscured by one of the bookcases.

Resisting the urge to get a proper look, you make to leave, when you hear him call you name yet again. Only this time, he doesn't say it with a voice full of passion; he says it with a voice full of curiosity.

Suddenly feeling rather bashful, you leave the room faster than you've ever done anything in your life. You sprint towards the mess hall, grab your rations, and settle in-between your comrades, earning you some funny looks as you start eating.

A few moments later, Erwin (mercifully fully clothed) enters the mess hall too. You watch as he collects his (notably better) rations and takes his usual seat next to Mike at the Officer's Table.

The next few moments pass in near silence, the only noises being that of chewing, swallowing, and occasionally talking about the day's events. After a while, you begin to relax, assuming that Erwin is keen to forget what just transpired. After all, he would probably have preferred you to be naked and sated the first time he came in your presence. You finish your meal, hand in your tray, and are about to leave the hall when a hand on your shoulder stops you.

'I'd like to have a word. In private.'


	2. Conclusion

'Oh shit.'

That's the first thing you'd thought, and as Erwin leads you down the corridor and back to his office, you decide that the statement is rather apt. Your heart is beating wildly in your chest, and you can hear your pulse in your ears, making you feel like your head is going to explode.

How did you get into this? When you'd first realised that you'd have to deliver the report to him there was anticipation. Then there was dread. Then excitement. Then a touch of sympathy. Now, you don't know what you're feeling. Fear? Lust? Both? You caught the man masturbating for fuck sake, how does one even act in a situation like that?!

'By leaving the reports and running away, apparently.' Your brain answers. It really needs to learn how to shut up. Anyhow, that's not the point. The point is that you need a plan of action. You're about a minute away from your destination, and still have no idea how to react to the situation. You think through all the potential outcomes.

Outcome one: he flirtatiously offers to give you a repeat performance, provided you do the same for him.

Outcome two: he awkwardly apologises, and assures you that he'll keep his carnal desires in check.

Outcome three: he talks. You listen. Then you fuck on the desk, just as Hange had implied that he wanted.

As these thoughts flood your consciousness, you realise something; you really, REALLY hope he chooses outcome three.

The time for thought stops as you reach your destination. He opens the door, and motions for you to go inside. As you enter the office, you hear the door shut, followed by the telltale sound of a lock clicking into place. 'Looks like someone finally learnt how to stop people entering at inopportune moments.' You think sarcastically.

Just as you prepare to turn around and face your Commander, you feel his warm breath at your ear, and his hands on either side of your hips. You freeze, unable to process what is happening. According to Hange, this man can't even tell you he wants you. Now he's touching you in a way that feels equal parts intimate and downright sinful. He finally speaks.

'You know, Cadet, the most curious thing happened earlier on. I was wondering if you could help enlighten me.' He practically purrs in your ear.

'O-of course, Sir. Anything.' You feel like you're going to faint. This man has only spoken to you twice this evening, but he already has you more aroused than any other man you've even been with. You wonder if he knows what he's doing to you, or if he's oblivious to his natural powers of seduction.

'You see, I was about to tidy away my paperwork for the day when I spotted a pile of reports on my desk. Reports that I'm sure weren't there when I decided to… take a little break, shall we say? Since most of them appear to be authored by Hange, and since I know you were assisting the Squad Leader this afternoon, I was wondering if you could tell me how they found their way onto my desk.' As he spoke, the large hand on your right hip slid lower, stroking the inside of your thigh. Forget fainting, if your heart starts beating any faster you'll die. But what a way to go, seduced to death by the Humanities' Most Handsome Commander.

'W-what makes you think I know the answer to that, Sir? F-for all y-you know, Hange could have delivered them when you-you were dist-tracted. Ah.' Talking suddenly becomes very difficult, as his right hand abandons your thigh in favour of toying with the hem of your shirt. You begin to silently curse every deity in existence, because your belts are stopping him from progressing any further. However, the moment after you think it, you hear the sound of said belts being undone.

'Mmm, well here's my theory. I think that one of my naughty little underlings snuck in here during my 'break', placed the reports on my desk, then scurried into the mess hall as fast as her little legs could carry her. That rules out Hange, of course. I've know Titans that could sneak into places quieter than Hange. It could have been Moblit, but that's doubtful; he's not the kind of person to go sneaking into his superior's office without permission. That only leaves you, my dear. So I want you to be honest with me. Did you sneak into my office?' He asks, finally loosening the belts enough to slide both of his hands onto your bare navel.

'Yes Sir, I did. I-I thought you were crying, so I le-le-let myself-f in. I'm sorry.' You finally confess, practically sobbing with need.

'Tsk, tsk, you really are a naughty little cadet, aren't you? First you enter here without permission while I'm fantasising about how these perfect tits of yours would feel in my hands,' his fingers glide up your chest to play with the skin just underneath your breasts (thank the walls you neglected to wear a bra today) 'and then you lie to me about it. I really can't tolerate such blatant insubordination, Cadet. You know what that means?' You shake your head. 'Punishment.' He growls lowly into your ear.

His hands grasp your waist once more, and force you over towards the armchair you'd found him on earlier. It's not the biggest chair in the world, but you're sure that it's fit for whatever the Commander is planning. Before you can discover what that plan is, he stops, and pulls your body flush against his, before speaking into you ear once more.

'You have two choices. You can leave now, and we'll forget this whole thing. I'll not pester you, and we'll go back to being Commander and Cadet just like always. Or,' at this point he starts nibbling on your ear, 'you can take your punishment like a good girl, before I make you feel so amazing you'll not be able to look me in the eye for weeks without soaking your underwear in pure want of me. The choice is yours. I'll warn you now though, this is the last chance you'll have to back out. If you agree to this, you're agreeing to let me take charge. To be in charge. To command your body personally, not just professionally. I won't hurt you, and if you need to slow down then that's fine. But understand this; I've wanted you for so long that I'll not hesitate to take you, now that you're here. So, make your choice. Stay with me, and have the time of your life, or leave me to fantasise about what could have been.'

You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. When he first touched you, you'd thought that that would be the most aroused you would ever be in your life. But after hearing Erwin's terms and feeling him pressed up against your body, you realise that this is what true sinful bliss feels like. The star of your every dirty daydream is here in the flesh, asking you if you want to make said daydreams a reality. There was only ever going to be one answer.

'Punish me, Sir.' You say, with surprising clarity, given how far gone you are.

'In which case, my devious little minx, let us begin.' One final nip on your ear, then he sets his plan into motion.

His warmth left your body entirely, as he stalked around your figure

.

'Very nice.' He praises, as he sits down in the chair. 'But it could be nicer. Remove your equipment. Not your uniform, mind. Just your equipment.'

'Y-yes Sir.' You salute him out of habit, before setting yourself to the task at hand. Thanks to Erwin's earlier ministrations, in no time at all your belts, gear and little leather 'skirt' are in a heap on the floor by your feet. You push them to one side before facing your Commander again, awaiting his next instruction. Erwin beckons you closer before issuing his next order.

'Unbutton your trousers. Crawl across my lap, then push them down to your knees.' You comply immediately, undoing the fastening of your trousers and sprawling across his lap as best you can before pushing them down as instructed.

Erwin rubs his hand over your underwear, the fabric obscenely moist with arousal. Letting out a pleased groan, he strokes you briefly before speaking again.

'Smart little devil that you are, I'm sure you've figured out what comes next. I'm going to spank you. Gently, at first. Need to warm this ass of yours up for the real smacks.' At that moment, he forcibly grabs one ass cheek, and squeezes it roughly. You let out a small moan. 'I think twenty should do it. That's how many months I've fucked my own hand wishing it was your pussy, your mouth, even your ass. Anything of yours. You have no idea what you do to me. So I'm going to show you. And you're going to love it!' With that last word, the hits began.

Erwin does start softly as promised, though Erwin's idea of what constitutes soft is very different to what you'd consider soft. The first ten have you gasping out in shock at the sting. The next five almost make you regret deciding to take his punishment. The final five set your arousal blazing, pain turning into the most amazing pleasure you've ever felt in your life. You feel like you could reach climax from this alone, with nothing stimulating your clitoris or your breasts. As the final blow strikes, you began to hope he'll make good on his promise of satisfaction, otherwise you'll go mad.

As if he can read your mind, mere moments after he finished with his hits, he pushes your underwear to one side and sticks two of his massive fingers inside of you. They side in with little resistance, a true testament to just how wet he's made you tonight. As he begins finger-fucking you in earnest, he leans forward to talk to you again.

'Well done, Cadet. You took them like such a good little slut. Though not quite as well as you're taking my fingers.' He twists them a little, making you cry out in ecstasy. 'That's it, take them deep. Show me just how nice that sweet little pussy of yours really is. I want to hear you scream for me. I want you so fucking far gone that you won't even think twice about riding my cock the way you're riding my hand.'

The sound of his voice sends you right to the edge, and when he strokes his thumb against you clit, you fall straight off of it. Sparks of pure euphoria spread from your groin to the rest of your body, shutting down your brain and making your whole body feel more alive than ever.

He fucks you through your orgasm, and only withdraws his fingers when you've stopped twitching around them. He yanks your trousers and now-ruined underwear down your legs, and manoeuvres you so that you're straddling his lap, your eyes locking with his.

'Well, that was quite the show. Though I'll admit, I much prefer more active audience participation. Shall I give you a moment to compose yourself, or are you ready for me to show you just how much I've wanted you?' Erwin voice sounds calm, but the way his chest is heaving and his erection is pressing into you proves that he's anything BUT calm.

You look into his eyes, the beautiful blue of them almost completely lost due to his dilated pupils. As physically and mental exhausted as you feel, you know there's no way you're willing to wait any longer to feel him inside you.

'Fuck me, Sir. Show me just how much you want me. Send me back to the barracks smelling of sweat and arousal, then do it to me all over again tomorrow.' At the sound of your words, Erwin finally loses his composure. Yanking his trousers and underwear down to his knees, he enters you swiftly and forcefully, making you scream his name. Giving you a moment to adjust, he takes your shirt off, and is greeted by two perfectly perky nipples. Grabbing you by the hips, he takes a nipple into his mouth, and begins to fuck you in earnest.

The pace he sets is hard and fast, which is hardly a shock given how far gone he is in regards to his lust. You put your hands in his well-groomed hair, grabbing on for dear life as he drags you ever closer to the edge for a second time. His mouth starts to alternate between nipples, and his thumbs occasionally brush up against your clit once again. It's too much, yet nowhere near enough. You start moaning his name over and over again, until your body feels like it's on fire, and you climax so hard you're certain you passed out for a moment. Erwin keeps up his pace for a few more thrusts, until the sensation of you squeezing his cock proves too much. He finishes with a moan, your name on his tongue spoken like a prayer.

As you both come down, you feel him leave your body, followed by the evidence of your joint arousal. It drips onto the armchair, certain to stain it. But to be honest, you don't give a single fuck.

After a moment, you stand up on shaky legs, Erwin moving to steady you. You locate your clothing and redress, but not before cleaning yourself up the best you can with your already-ruined underwear. You'll have to have a proper wash when you make it back to the barracks.

Erwin meanwhile redresses himself, before standing beside you. Once you're finished, he runs a hand through your hair.

'I fear I must apologise. I've wanted you for so long, but feared your rejection so much that I had convinced myself that I didn't need you. I told myself that the thought of you alone would be enough. When I saw you sneaking out of my office earlier I was confused. 'Why didn't she say anything?' I thought. 'Doesn't she think I'm a pervert?'. I knew that there were two possibilities; either you were the kind of person who wouldn't ever raise a fuss for fear of attracting attention, or you weren't totally disgusted, and might even be tempted to join me in my fantasies. I'll admit, I took a chance on it being the latter, but when have I ever been one to shy away from taking chances?' He says earnestly.

'Look, I know all we've really talked about today is sex, but I would like us to be something more than that. From all the conversations we've shared, I can tell you're the kind of woman for me, and I want to give it a shot. We'll have to be discreet, as we can't risk anyone finding out, but still. We can make this work. If you'll just give me a cha…' you cut him off with a kiss.

'Erwin,' you smile, removing your lips from his. 'I already agreed to do whatever you wanted tonight. I'm pretty sure us starting an affair counts as 'anything'. So yes, if you'll have me, I'm all yours.'

He smiles back. 'Thank you, Cadet' You're about to complain about him using your title, but he silences you by kissing your forehead. 'I have one final command for the night; get some rest. I'll need you in top condition tomorrow. After all, I do believe you requested a repeat performance tomorrow night. I don't want you flaking out on me.'

He gives you one final kiss before walking with you to the door and showing you out.

As you walk back to the barracks, you can't help but wonder…

'Why didn't he tell me he wanted me sooner?!'


End file.
